(Inspired by my clients) By Joanne Oliver – written a long time ago! Note; I wrote this in one hit and have never felt able to change a single word….
I am on the bridge. This is my bridge although I believe we all have our own personal bridge. Mine is up high, the air is crystal clear and the sky around me is tinged with colours from a rainbow.
My bridge is delicate yet flexible swaying at times with the air current. Luckily there are handrails and I seem to hold tight quite a lot.
Behind me are the memories and experiences of my life lived so far. Sometimes I pause and turn to look back over my journey. The entrance to the bridge is hidden and lost by mist or cloud. I know now that this bridge was always here from the day of my birth waiting for me……………….
Beyond the mist is the fog or maybe the veil. I remember that sometimes the sun would burn the mist away and I could see more clearly – but they were fleeting moments. I didn’t realise then that all along I was seeking the start of this bridge.
All the pain, the doubt, the self-loathing, the confusion, the anxiety and always so alone lost in the pale fog. Sometimes another lost shadow would walk with me for a while, we would try and explain our hurt and confusion and try to understand each other and sometimes we would cling together and root ourselves to the same spot out of fear.
Some call it the dark night of the soul – mine seemed to be many days and nights all lumped together. All I know is that I almost missed the reply when I cried for help from the heart.
I can only share my experience. My reply came from deep within. It was subtle so easily missed and how long it had been there before I found it I don’t know. My mind was busy telling me how bad my life was over and over again and it was only telling the truth. But slowly something deep within me started to awaken, to become aware, to watch.
It saw all the pain and mess of my life without emotion, without judgement and it started to whisper. Mine were feelings rather than words. Once I looked in the mirror and saw reflected back a shadow starting to fade away, but now I was aware of something else that looked back at me.
Others in the shadow with me didn’t understand but felt the change in me anyway. They reached out to me in many different ways. Some through support and kindness and others through showing me all that was so wrong with my life. I bless them all now.
Slowly I tried to understand through others who had walked this path before me. They spoke of a different world, new to me and not easily seen by eye or understood with the mind, but instead felt with the heart.
Some wrote books and some crossed my path with words of wisdom. But they grew in number and so did that part inside me.
Until I found my bridge.
I can’t tell you exactly what’s on the other side, but it draws me onward and I know I can never turn back. I believe I will find truth, and peace and understanding. The more I cross my bridge the more I sense just how much there is once I reach my destination. I will be complete, expanded and all that I can be. For the moment I’m not totally sure what these words truly mean and perhaps when I reach the other side, there will be no words only this immense feeling. But that is fine, I am just where I need to be and to rush this journey would be to lose the rewards.
It’s not lonely, but it is my bridge to cross in my way on my own. There are other bridges, below, in front and off to the side some moving faster other’s slower. Some I share and exchange support and beloved new and faithful companions also cross not far from me.
It is my reason to be, who I AM to make this epic journey across my bridge.
Each step no matter how slow brings me further to my destination. The further I cross the brighter my journey. There are twists and turns on the bridge and sometimes the path seems slippery or very steep. But at these times I am aware of beautiful winged birds and butterflies encouraging me ever onward.
There are haven points along my bridge where I can sit and rest for as long as I chose. To look back on where I have come from or to gaze in awe at the journey yet ahead.
But this is for those who stand at the start of their bridge. Who have already been through so much just to get this far, yet do not yet see the magic of their own bridge.
To walk away from the mist into the light of your bridge takes such courage and strength. Yet the bridge truly leads to freedom from our self-made prisons.
The compass and map lie within. Here will you find everlasting guidance and truth and upliftment. Though we all seek outside of ourselves for greater truth, yet in the end all outside knowledge points us back inside ourselves.
Beyond our minds constant chatter and opinion, beyond even our emotional feelings whirling us up and down, feel a part of you that is silent, peace and knowing. The eternal flame that softly glows within our heart, waiting patiently for our return.
I bow and salute each of you one by one as I cross my bridge. If you arrive before me wave me home in a blaze of light and if you follow along behind me hear my cries of hope carried in the wind.